Most people don't give that much of a shit about each other. Maybe you've realized this and that's why you're so distrusting of people.
But it's also a fact that there are good people out there. They're rare though so you have to treasure them when you meet them lol. I think you're confusing the boundaries over human interaction. You don't have to open up to everyone and to those you do, you can do at varying levels.
I have friends that I share everything with, I have friends that I only do dumbshit with and I have friends that strictly on a 'hi-bye' kind of relationship. I could probably count the number of close friends I have with a single hand. There's nothing wrong with that.
i have no idea why you posted this on the dbuff forums though
wouldn't reddit be a better place
Well, ppl do don't give a shit.
But sometimes they DO wanna know.
Ppl that I know are nosy and backmouthing ppl and gossip. I hear thing that I don't wanna know.
I have Chinese background and Asian living in SEA. This us not European or the US. Ppl do wanna know. I feel like western at heart as I am individualistic but Asian are more collective. I don't like my country's collective culture and despise being Asian living in Asia. I dunno man... I dunno what to do.
Errrr, so you feel like you don't belong? What do you mean by that?
Do you want to be surrounded by like minded individuals?
None of my close friends like video games or anime, both of which I'm into. I don't mind though, people are different. If you don't know what to do, then figure it out lel, start by asking yourself questions. Do you want male or female friends, should they have similar hobbies or not blablabla
When I start thinking about suicide, I imagine who will be the first person to discover my body and how it will look.
It helps...
^
i think about all the people that will be sad
and the people who might be glad (because fuck these people i wont give them the satisfaction)
Stop quoting Shakespeare you only end up looking stuck up. Socializing is just a matter of letting your guard down and enjoying the company rather than trying to compare them to yourself.
A bit like that.
People misunderstood me as I am not a vocal person.
and ppl could think about me negatively. I could speak wrong words and people could think negatively because of it.
I have a few female friends but in the end one of us will develop feelings toward another. That will be awkward. Resulted we can't talk more...
@soultrap: of course when I think if mom. I won't do it. I still survive because of mom. She goes to church and pray for me. I'm not that much of a believer. But, I dont wanna make her sad.
One thing about the church too. I hanged out with a young pastor...for the youth and he has a meeting and talk shit about an activist in church...I mean, if you can't feel safe at church then where would you feel safe?
It really doesn't work both ways. From my great-uncle's source materials on economic history, I recall something like:
The West's culture formed from a high-trust basis (assuming strangers could be trusted). In this kind of system, friendships are formed, but personal boundaries limit the closeness of most friends and family.
China's culture formed from a only trust your family first, then your friends basis. In this kind of system, friendships are limited, but friends and family share far more of their resources and personal lives and it's considered rude or unfriendly to hold things back.
You can't hold a typical Easterner's distrust of the world and others + a typical Westerner's need for privacy. That just leaves you friendless in any culture.
Born in China, now living in the USA, I would rather "give a shit" to as much people as possible and blend the best of both systems. Trust the average stranger (at least in the West), and share gossip / secrets with friends, regardless of my friends are Chinese or American. (If an American can't accept that I act this way, then he'll just be less of a friend...) I might get used by lazy and greedy people in this process and my reputation might be damaged, but that's a lesson learned (meaning one less person to deal with in the future); the West is right to not fear this stuff. Truly decent people exist and they are my brothers and comrades, people I'd willingly spend money, time, and heart on, even if I will never receive a full payback. There's no debts between such close friends.
I'm just not happy the world seems like a chaos place.
People badmouthing each other , conflicts. Just look at the workplace.
PS:thank you for mentioning reddit tho.
Earth is not a safe place. It is full of evil people and worse things you can't see. But it's temporary and Jesus will fix it.
John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world
Even death, he will repair. Things here seem really bad, and they are. Many people have much worse problems than feeling alone and misunderstood. Allowing people to do what they choose, even if it is mocking and killing Jesus through torture... this is how much God values our freedom. It is worth the cost, knowing that in the end He will fix it.
Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
Romans 8:35-37 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
-----------------------------------------------
And so we can endure because Christ did. We can live and love despite so much being wrong because it comes from His unlimited power, not from us. Don't be discouraged by the imperfect people at church. Look at Jesus perfect example. Know that He loves you no matter what others think, no matter what you think, have said or done. He still wants you, because he already knows the glorious, eternal person He is creating you to become.
Relentless
I like you
but I hate when you go into shit like this
btw sunshine,
sampson aka salt king nailed it
just enjoy the company
I think you should join a church, even if you are not a religious person. Churches are generally full of friendly and encouraging people.
If you want to experience the peace that is beyond understanding, then yes you sit back for moment and Jesus shows you what He is doing.
Jesus wants people to participate with Him in loving and healing the world. But He does not need us to get it done. If you have lost focus, look back at Him. When Peter was looking at Jesus he could walk on water. When he looked at the storm, he sank. When Jesus calms the storm His disciples freak out, but He says "where is your faith?"
The implication is this. Don't you know that it's Jesus storm? He starts it just as much as stops it.
The puzzle for the all-powerful God to solve is this. It would be easy to force everyone to obey like robots. But how do you get billions of people to volentarily coexist in harmony? How do you achieve that alignment?
Jesus ultimate goal:
John 17:20-23 “I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.”
The solution is beyond human apprehension and nearly beyond human comprehension even after you know Him. But going through the process is necessary, however painful.
People have to submit their will to His without coercion. Everything people screw up in the world will be repaired. Even if we die in the process, it is bad... but again fixable. God will destroy this world with fire as He destroyed the previous world with water. But like before, He will make a new one.
if you can't feel safe at church then where would you feel safe?
lol if theres one place where i feel uncomfortable its churches (except just for visiting)
also if you think christianity or any theistic shit is real in 2016 please try opening your eyes
I saw people badmouthing colleagues in every work place.
Conflicts in every cell group church that I attended.
Hearing others being bad mouthed about their company by other competitors.
Well, basically that's it I guess.
I Don't feel safe.
Sure, of course I try to take it easy.
But one day I gonna have family and mouths to feed. I'm scared of facing the world that is.
@ relentless: thx for the post tho
But one day I gonna have family and mouths to feed.
why? you dont need to have a family if you dont want to. lol
and whats so hard about that
if you have a pc and internet so you can post this here then you're wealthy enough to have opportunities in life
fuck bitches, get money - Sing Sing
on a more serious note, OP ur not alone, I'm from Pakistan and I feel like I dont belong either, all my forms of entertainment, the media I watch, read and play are all western. I feel like I'm culturally distant from my countrymen. and i think this is common in the east
"also if you think christianity or any theistic shit is real in 2016 please try opening your eyes"
Science or what we accept as science changes all the time as our understanding grows. The basic tenants of christianity and its message remain unchanged for over 2000 years. Maybe you should try opening your own eyes.
@Dire Wolf, that is not even an argument.
Are you just trying to show how concrete and backwards theism is?
Abrahamic religions teach the tenants of the men in power at any given time.
Just look at Evangelicals in the US and Islamic extremists as examples. They interpret what should be a simple message into a call to harm other people.
Can we not start religious shit here
I respect your choice to believe in whatever you believe in
so respect my choice to believe in nothing
Sunshine just relax man, if you feel that you need a certain bunch of outcomes to be satisfied then you're fucked. Just calm down and do something you like, it's very unlikely that you won't make any friends regardless of what you do. And even if you don't make any relax anyway, the grass isn't greener anywhere man.
To the point of the OP's post:
I can't necessarily relate to you culturally, as I am a white American. I can however relate to the feelings of depression and the general sense of disgust with many world events.
I have been suffering from severe depression for years. I have thought about running my car into a tree on the way home from work a few times, but those were fleeting thoughts and never made me worry much.
What I would suggest is that you see a psychiatrist asap. My wife is a therapist so I know that mental 'disorders' are often dismissed in eastern cultures, but suicidal thoughts and disillusionment with life, is something that needs to be addressed by a professional.
If you don't a have a support structure to help you then your issues may get worse.
Take time to do cardiovascular exercise daily! Even 20 minutes of walking/jogging can balance mood by increasing dopamine and endorphin levels.
I can tell you for sure (well almost) that you will never find "the meaning of life". I am 37 now with two kids and job that I enjoy, but I still have issues figuring out what the point of it all is.
You are the one that needs to give meaning to life, and a network of friends/family/professionals are an important part of that.
If you want to talk more about it feel free to PM me. (if that's possible on DotaBuff. . . I've never tried).
^TL;DR psychiatrists are simply a way to dump your extra money, that is unless you are legitimately depressed. Chill the fuck out op.
if you can't feel safe at church then where would you feel safe?
there are lots of people who don't feel safe at church. Many (certainly not all) churches are openly hateful to whole swaths of people. Or maybe you feel safe in one church but not others; I'm sure that many Christians would feel unsafe at a Mosque in Saudi Arabia. I'm sure many Muslims would feel unsafe at an American Megachurch. Some churches welcome everyone. Some don't. Some pretend to welcome everyone but then shame specific behaviors or groups of people.
I wouldn't say I don't feel safe at church, I just feel bored.
If it doesn't resonate with you, that's ok. That's pretty normal. It's not necessary to feel the need to force yourself to participate in something you don't believe in. And if that means abandoning the religious affiliations of your parents ... well ... that's just growing up and becoming an individual. I don't think my mother was particularly surprised when I absolved myself of my Catholic upbringing.
I am individualistic but Asian are more collective. I don't like my country's collective culture and despise being Asian living in Asia.
it seems normal to feel that you don't share the overall sentiment of the society that you live in. Like I'm American and I don't believe in capitalism or individualism; I don't share the prevailing worldview of most of my countrymen.
It looks like a cold and cruel world out there.
parts of it are, but not all of it.
real life that I experience or what I've seen are not like what the books.
better to see once than hear a dozen times.
also if you think christianity or any theistic shit is real in 2016 please try opening your eyes
plz don't try to force your worldview on others. I'm an atheist, too, but down-talking people doesn't help anyone. The condescension isn't warranted or even remotely productive. You'll never convince anyone of anything by telling them that they're stupid.
If believing in something is helpful to you, then that's great! But if you feel like you don't need it and that works for you, that's great too! It's when you feel like something is lacking ... when you feel like you're missing out ... that is troublesome, and that takes work. Like I'm an atheist; I don't need God and I don't feel like I'm missing out by not believing in God. I found that The Art of Happiness really resonated with me, but ymmv. I've shown it to some people whose minds were blown, and some people who couldn't get past the first chapter.
anyway, these seem like the normal anxieties of growing up. That doesn't mean that they're easy, or that you should feel silly for having those anxieties; just that your experience is shared by others.
When I was in my early twenties I freaked out about everything. Politics especially, when I learned a bit about the history of American foreign policy. Engineering school was super hard, and I hated living in Boston. I was very depressed. For me, the situation fixed itself pretty naturally when I moved out of Boston; a change in environment can be very helpful, but I know that that's not always possible.
just relax man
spoken like someone that's never actually experienced depression.
Depression is not sadness. Depression is not merely being worried about things.
Depression is the feeling that the world is collapsing on you. Depression isn't wanting to do stuff and not doing it; depression is wanting to want to do stuff. Depression is not wanting to do anything and being angry with yourself for not wanting to anything, with no way to make yourself want to do stuff. Depression is being paralyzed inside of your own body wishing you had the will to do anything.
Just calm down and do something you like
That's exactly what OP wants. If it were that easy, this post wouldn't exist.
the grass isn't greener anywhere man.
the grass is greener where you water it.
If you want to talk more about it feel free to PM me. (if that's possible on DotaBuff. . . I've never tried).
there's no message box on the site, but every profile links back to the player's steam profile (near the bottom), so you can connect and PM each other through steam.
and OP, feel free to PM me as well.
lmao sure thing
relentless writes a fucking 50 lines long post preaching his shit, i write my point of view in 2 lines and im the one trying to indoctrinate people
never change world, atheists seek world dominance!! beware Xx_666_xX hail satan
tbh I didn't read any of relentless's posts. I've been practicing the art of ignoring scripture my whole life; I barely even notice that I'm doing it any more. sry I didn't mean to single you out like that.
... I actually do understand what depression is about, been through it and have also studied it since it's part of curriculum (pharmaceutical sciences).
You have to start somewhere. And 'just relax man' is actually the correct way to go about it. Obviously its not Step1: Relax, Step2: Profit!! kind of shit but yeah. Maybe he didn't put much thought into it but it's right. A lot of people develop depression as a result of stress and pressure from their surroundings that make them hate their situation but they can't give enough of a fuck to change it. It feels like it's tedious to change or that it's not worth the effort so they don't have the will to do it. Eventually this turns into apathy and they start to not feel anything at all.
You need to realize you have to chill and REALIZE IT'S NOT THAT HARD and do things bit by bit. First, root out minor stress points. Short on cash, shitty work environment, family issues. Whatever, fix them but do it slowly. Really slowly.
@scraps
I was actually diagnosed with depression,I'm not depressed anymore. I think it sort of just goes away when you try to gain some dispassionate insight into the nature of things. Maybe it doesn't work for everyone, but I would advise op to let go of things and think calmly about everything.
^TL;DR psychiatrists are simply a way to dump your extra money, that is unless you are legitimately depressed. Chill the fuck out op.
Forgive me if I question your education (or lack thereof) in brain functions and their affects on the body.
Maybe you have had a bad personal experience with one, but my guess is that you just wanted some attention.
Hopefully the OP will seek the help of a professional as opposed to taking the advice of a pseudo-anonymous pre teen and attempting to "just chill the fuck out".
Edit: There are many types of depression that don't just go away. An imbalance of neurotransmitters can ruin and even end a life if not addressed. The OP does not sound like someone suffering from something a benign as seasonal depression.
I am depressed. If you understand the 4 temperaments I am a melancholy. Opposite from a sanguine. Cheerful and child like and extroverted. I am the exact opposite.
I have anxiety and depression. Acute depression. I thought I was a bipolar or something. A person who experienced depression could relate I would say.
Well, I tried to chill. I play dota. That keeps me sane a bit.
@Ranchu you said it. That's quite the mental state I'm in right now. Seeing the world's events and around me make me feel confused. I stop reading newspapers totally.
I will reply another part in a few hours. Gotta rest.
"relentless writes a fucking 50 lines long post preaching his shit, i write my point of view in 2 lines and im the one trying to indoctrinate people"
not indoctrinating, but inferring that 85% of all people are stupid and you are somehow enlightened or intellectually superior because your eyes are open as you put it is ignorance
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_religious_populations
a more appropriate response would just be "relentless stop brow beating people with your bible, you'll hurt your dota playing arm"
if you are depressed go see someone, a dota forum is not the answer. There's probably internet forums out there that will help but not this one
@Ranchu normal skill xD
@OP Pls don't diagnose your own depression through the Interweb xD. Read more books and play more dota. Consider the possibility that that you don't feel like talking to anyone cuz they are all fkin dogshit.
To note
I have depression before and I managed to get out of it. But the next one and another one is even harder.
I have that perfectionist tendency.
Most people who are musicians or people in history books have depression too. ADHD, bipolar you name it. But somehow they can turn that by their work I guess.
Well, every case is different...I'm going to post later on. I couldn't think clearly now to submit a clearly defined post. I think it will confuse ppl.
I think what I'm having now is major depression disorder.
@scraps: ok dude
@Direwolf:actually I don't wanna talk about depressuon in this thread. I basically just wanna ask ppl who experienced having a family and working life experience about being out there.
As I see office politics and some bacstabbing shit out there. Which makes me feel negative and question all this stuff. This makes me feel depressed as the outcome.
Per favore Accedi per inviare commenti.
I need advice from seniors preferably 28+ who has been out there in real life. It looks like a cold and cruel world out there.
Especially workplace and ppl u know sometimes couldn't be trusted.
I dunno man, I saw bad shit out there like office politics out there if u know what I mean.
I don't have that motivation to make new friends with new ppl. I have a cousin but he lived abroad and married. I don't trust people outside of my circle.
ok this is not the first thread of meaning of life in this forum.
I surely read books that are positive like Stephen Covey, Anthony Robbins, those kinds of books. But, real life that I experience or what I've seen are not like what the books.
I feel a bit suicidal sometimes.
I dunno what to do. Ive seen psychiatrist of course but it doesn't help.